A Few Jokes Jokes and humour from our contibutors.

Paddy is doing some roofing for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy.
He calls down to Murphy and says,” I tink I will ave to go home I’ve gone all giddy and I feel sick.”
Murphy: ” Ave yer got vertigo Paddy”
Paddy: ” No I only live round the corner”
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Doctor: “Can I have a word with you? It’s about your test results.”
Patient: “Yeah, I have a minute.”
Doctor: “No you don’t.”
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I’ve just bought a 3D Kindle.
Or a book as it’s commonly known.
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I would never go bungee jumping. A broken rubber brought me into this world, and I’m not letting one take me out.
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I just can’t stand people who are intolerant.
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Sincerity is the key to success. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I got talking to a blonde bird in a club.
She said, “I’m from Essex.”
“Oh really!” I replied, “Which part?”
“All of me.” She replied.
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What bounces and makes kids cry?
My donation cheque to Children in Need.
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I’ve been diagnosed with chronic fear of giants; Feefiphobia