His dad is driving 8 year old Little Johnny home from school. While they are stopped at a traffic light, the son notices 2 dogs screwing on the lawn next to the car. “What are they doing?” asks Johnny. “Uuuhhhh…..they…..are…..uh……..making a puppy” says Dad. Johnny says, “OK,” and Dad is relieved he didn’t have to [...]
One day, an African chief’s wife gave birth to a white child and the chief was absolutely stunned. He suspected some hanky panky and went to the white Jesuit missionary father and looked at him suspiciously. “You have been having sex with my wives,” he accused the white father, who looked very uncomfortable. The Jesuit, [...]
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” The kid says, “Yeah.” The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to [...]
One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck. Her son, Little Johnny, came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other. He tripped and the BBs went right into the pot of beans. Little Johnny [...]
The wife suggested I get myself one of those dick enlargers, so I did…. she’s 21 and her name’s Lucy. ———— I went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting “paedophile!” and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I’m 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary. [...]
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back [...]
Eight years old Litttle Johnny was at the corner “Mom & Pop” grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked Johnny if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Oh, no laundry,” Johnny said, “I’m going to wash my dog.” “But [...]
One day, Grandma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma’s kitchen. “Where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Grandma asked him. [...]
A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it’s his turn to be waited on. A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter [...]
An ignorant but well-meaning tourist was visiting a small Polynesian island when he came across a native man proudly displaying twenty alligator teeth slung about his neck in a decorative fashion. “I guess you must prize alligator teeth the way we value pearls,” said the tourist. “More so,” said the native. “Anyone can open up [...]