An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.’ The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which [...]
These are sentences exactly as typed by medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow 1. The patient has no previous history of suicide. 2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. 3. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 4. She [...]
A married couple were in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor [...]
A well-to-do very posh middle aged lady went to her local GP. “Doctor” she said, (in a voice similar to that of Dora Bryan in St. Trinians) “I have a most emberresing and perculiar problem; I cannot stop parsing wind. I am doing it all the time and they seem so ferocious, but the funny [...]
While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. [...]
Relief For A Stressful Day… Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows your secret place. You are in total seclusion. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. You can easily make out [...]
Moe fell asleep on the beach under the noonday sun and suffered a severe sunburn to his legs. He was taken to the hospital. Moe had turned a bright red. It was very painful and had started to blister. The doctor prescribed continued intravenous feedings of water and electrolytes, a mild sedative and 100 mg [...]
A doctor had just finished a marathon shagging session with one of his patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn’t really ethical to screw his patients. However, a little voice in his head said, “Lots of other doctors have sex with their patients, so its not [...]
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to do something about my husband — he thinks he’s a refrigerator!” “I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” the doctor replies. “Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.” “But you don’t understand,” the woman insists. “He sleeps with his mouth open, [...]
I was due for a smear with the doctor later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am . I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around [...]