This is what marriage is really all about . . . . . . He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French [...]
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the wife. ‘They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans’ he replies. ‘Put them back, we can’t afford them’ demands the wife, and so [...]
Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. “How’d you die?” the first man asks the second. “I froze to death,” says the second. “That’s awful,” says the first man. “How does it feel to freeze to death?” “It’s very uncomfortable at first”, says the second man. “You get the shakes, and [...]
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges [...]
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.” ———— A young son asked, “Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?” Dad replied, “That happens in every [...]
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. ———— At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” “Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.” ———— A lady inserted an ad [...]
Mac wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the night-stand. He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all cleaned and pressed. He looks around the room [...]
At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the [...]
After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Darling, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21-year-old girl. [...]
A Man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says ‘Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember, but I’m afraid you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You’re going to be OK, you’ll walk again, everything seems to be OK, but there is [...]