‘Other Nationalities’ Archive

Phone Sex

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Gunbelt and Boots

One day the sheriff sees Billy-bob walking around town with nothing on except his gun belt and his boots. The sheriff says “Billy-bob, what the hell are you doing walking around town dressed like that?” Billy-bob replies “Well sheriff, it’s a long story!” Sheriff says that he isn’t in a hurry and that Billy-bob should […]

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Paddy’s Day Out

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night. Mick, the bartender, says “You’ll not be drinking any more tonight Paddy. You’ve ‘ad enough lad”. Paddy replies “OK Mick, I’ll be on my way den.” Paddy spins around on his stool and falls flat on his face. “Shoite” […]

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Irish Wisdom

Paddy & Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!! ———— A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy odered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he’d like a drink. He replied in disgust ‘I’d rather be […]

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Assertive Wives

At the 2015 World Women’s conference, the first speaker from Canada, stood up “At last years conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference I went home and told my husband I would no longer cook for him, and that he would have to do it himself. Afer the […]

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Practice Law

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, “Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the landowners for lots of money?” Told that it was true, the lawyer turned […]

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Hang-Gliding

Here in Kentucky, you don’t see too many people hang-gliding. Ol’ Zeek decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge – into the wind he goes! Meanwhile, Maw […]

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Drowned

Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. “Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya.” “Of course you can come in, you’re always welcome, Tim. But where’s my husband?” “That’s what I’m here to be tellin’ ya, Brenda. There was an accident down […]

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Snippets…

Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes. I think they were those Hovis Witnesses. ———— After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing. ———— A mummy covered in […]

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Tour of London

A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London, and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of London the cabbie explained what it was and that construction started in 1346 and it was completed in 1412, the Texan replied, “Shoot, a little ol’ tower like that? In Houston we’d have that […]

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Olives

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. “S’cuse me,” said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. “What was that all […]

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New Bridge

There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. […]

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The Kiwi Approach

A young Kiwi lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked ‘Do you have any sales experience?’ The young man answered ‘Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Wainuiomata.’ The manager liked the Kiwi so he gave him the job. His first day was challenging and busy, […]

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Strange Neighbours

“How’s the flat you’re living in in London, Jock?” asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen. “It’s okay,” he replies, “but the woman next door keeps screaming and crying all night and the guy on the other side keeps banging his head on the wall.” “Never you mind,” says his mother, “don’t you […]

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Merseyside

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Mugabee

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Driver’s License

A Polish immigrant went to apply for a driver’s license. He sent off all the forms and all was fine but he was asked to take an eye test. So off he goes and gets himself an appointment the same day, and sits down in the examining chair. The optician showed him a card with […]

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Australian Poetry

The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists; a university graduate and an old Aboriginal. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “TIMBUKTU”. First to recite his poem was the university […]

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Two Mothers

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in the cafe strip chatting over a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. “This is my oldest son Mohammed. He’s 24 years old now” “Yes, I remember him as a baby” says the […]

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What Was He?

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother. 2. He liked Gospe.l 3. He didn’t get a fair trial. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father’s business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3. He […]

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