Paddy visits his local, looking very haggard. His mate, Michael, seeing Paddy’s condition, winks and quips ” . . . to be sure, Paddy, youse look as though she wore ya out!” Sean and Paddy’s other mates pick up the spirit of the moment, chiding Paddy in good fun. Paddy is uncharacteristically oblivious to the [...]
A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her Stammerers Action group. She had tried every technique in the book without the slightest success. Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said “If any of you can tell me the name of the town where you were born, without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate [...]
England should select Jesus for the next test against Pakistan. He could walk all over them. ———— What do you call a Pakistan flood survivor? Mustafa Dinghy. ———— What’s Green and Brown and has three hundred eyes? A tree in Pakistan. ———— I had to call my bank today and they put me through to [...]
I was in a geography exam today. Couldn’t remember a single thing about Pakistan. Then it all came flooding back. ———— Sky News: ‘Cameron pledges to flush Taliban out of Pakistan.’ I thought, “This new PM doesn’t f*ck about.” ———— I don’t understand these foreign f*ckers, they moan when they have to walk miles to [...]
☻The rescue workers at the Pakistan flood area say that the smell of bodies is unbearable. They expect it to get worse when they start finding the dead ones. ☻A charity single has been released in aid of the Pakistan Flood Relief. It’s called, “Raindrops Keep Falling on Ahmed.” ☻There were no survivors from that [...]
The history of the middle finger: I never knew this before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to pass it on to my more intelligent friends (you guys) in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn’t history more fun when you know something about it? Before the Battle of Agincourt [...]
Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request. A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and [...]
A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken [...]
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant. ‘Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients’. ‘Yes, sir!’ answers Murphy. The doctor goes fishing and [...]
A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend in a hotel in the Thai resort of Phuket. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles – something she loved to do. As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, “Why do you love doing that?” “Because”, [...]