One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there [...]
Dave was bragging at work the other day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.” Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, how about Tom Cruise?” “No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Dave [...]
Gordon Brown, or Gordon the Useless One, as he is known by some of his colleagues, was looking for a lady of the night. He found three such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. To the blonde he said, ‘I am the Prime Minister of England. Now how much [...]
Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville Daily News Newspaper in Starkville, MS. and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.” Curtis &Leroy replied, [...]
Osama Bin Laden decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of Coded message: 370H-SSV-0773H Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice. Condi and her aides hadn’t a clue [...]
Cherie Blair is travelling through the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow appears in the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Cherie, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur: ‘You get out and check – you were driving.’ The chauffeur gets out, checks and [...]
A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it’s raining,” he said to his wife. “No, that felt more like snow to me,” she replied. “No, I’m sure it was just rain, he said.” Well, as these things [...]
Gordon Brown has today announced that they are changing the Union Jack Flag to a condom. This is because it more accurately reflects the current government’s political stance. A condom allows for inflation, it halts production, it destroys the next generation, it protects a bunch of pricks and finally, gives you a sense of security [...]
GORDON BROWN was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr. BROWN if he would like to lead the discussion on the word ‘tragedy’. So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example [...]
Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and Peter Mandelson are flying to a world economic summit. Peter looks at Alistair and chuckles: ‘You know, I could throw a £50 note out of the window right now and make one person very happy.’ Alistair shrugs his shoulders and says: ‘Well, I could throw five £10 notes out of [...]