An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. [...]
Little Johnny asks his Dad, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll [...]
Europe’s Problems Summed Up Pythagorean theorem: 24 words Lord’s prayer: 66 words Archimedes’ Principle: 67 words Ten Commandments: 179 words Gettysburg address: 286 words US Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words US Constitution with all 27 Amendments: 7,818 words EU regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words
The largest condom factory in the States burned down. President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone. “Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I’ve just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply [...]
A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea. “Do you enjoy it?” the doctor asked. “Actually, yes, I do” she said. ”Does it hurt you”, he asked? “No. I rather [...]
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. “Morning.” I said. “No” he replied, “just having a pee.” ———— My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 60 in about 5 seconds.’ [...]
Sometimes you are encouraged about our country’s future when you see something like this. Specifically, there is an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year’s term was: “Political Correctness.” The winner wrote: “Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and [...]
An American tourist in London skips his tour group to explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of warm beer. He even samples a doner kebab from a greasy [...]
The British Medical Association has weighed in on the new Prime Minister David Cameron’s health care proposals. The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. [...]
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there [...]