An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, from cancer in unmentionable places, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite whiskey wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of [...]
A while back, when I was younger, I picked up a date at her parents’ home. I’d scraped together some money to take her to a fancy restaurant. She ordered the most expensive items on the menu: Shrimp cocktail, Lobster, Champagne. I asked her, “Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at [...]
A beautiful story! Once upon a time, a guy asked a beautiful girl ‘Will you marry me?’ The girl said, ‘NO!’ And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and [...]
For f*ck’s sake, what a mess to sort out. I can’t believe I’ve mixed their Valentines cards up. The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to f*ck her. ———— My girlfriend reckons when it comes to Valentine’s Day, it’s the thought that counts. So, in a special effort to [...]
My girlfriend says I look too far into the future. Well she’s not my girlfriend yet. ———— I knew my girlfriend had misunderstood me before I even opened the picture of her posing with her kittens. ———— As my girlfriend left me I said to her “There’ll never be another like you”. Turns out I [...]
A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, ‘But we don’t know anything about each other.’ He said, ‘That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along.’ So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a [...]
A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. He [...]
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively [...]
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover. He had to force himself to open his eyes. The first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, [...]
The Lord made man in the Garden of Eden. Then he said to himself, “There’s something he’s needing.’” After casting about for a suitable pearl, He kept messing around and created a girl. Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender, Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender. Two lovely hips to increase his [...]