This is what marriage is really all about . . . . . . He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French [...]
At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the [...]
After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Darling, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21-year-old girl. [...]
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: ‘Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from [...]
A man is talking to the family doctor. “Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf.” The doctor answers, “Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this [...]
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to shout at them. Some are over-sensitive and there’s nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman. My name is Ron. Let [...]
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, ‘I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, [...]
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on the 1st tee bench waiting for their turn to hit off one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend’s stamina and asked him what he [...]
A Doctor was addressing a large audience. ‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining, Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term [...]
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We [...]