Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Scottsdale, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, ‘Do you still get horny?’ The other replies, ‘Oh sure I do.’ The first old lady asks, ‘What do you do about it?’ The second old lady replies, ‘I suck a lifesaver.’ After a few moments, the [...]
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers, and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, “I had a big house built for Mama.” The [...]
A 60 year-old couple was celebrating their 40 years of marriage. During the celebration a fairy appeared! “Because you have been such a loving couple all those years, I would like to give you each one wish.” The wife quickly chimed in, “I want to travel around the world.” The fairy waved her wand and, [...]
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age. (I just turned fifty-five). A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 90?’ He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or [...]
A five year old boy and his grandpa are sitting on the front porch together, when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler. The little boy asks: ‘Can I have a beer Grandpa?’ Grandpa replies: ‘Can your pecker touch your ass?’ The little boy answered : ‘No Grandpa. It’s just a little pecker’. Gramps [...]
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there’s nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Ron. Let [...]
After an examination, the doctor said to his elderly patient: ‘You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?’ ‘In fact, I do.’ said the old man. “After my wife and I have sex, I’m usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have [...]
This letter was sent to a School Head’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for senior citizens. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. Dear Headmistress, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior [...]
So after landing my new job as an Asda greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day… About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the [...]
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation. “He’s a funeral director,” she answered. “Interesting,” the newsman thought. [...]