‘Sex’ Archive

Discoloured Genitals

A man stops by his regular doctor with this strange discolouring of his genitals. The doctor was quite amazed. He had never seen such a shade of orange on a man’s privates. After a very thorough examination, the befuddled doctor finally confessed he had no ideas. So he said to the man “I don’t quite [...]

Irish Sex

Paddy visits his local, looking very haggard. His mate, Michael, seeing Paddy’s condition, winks and quips ” . . . to be sure, Paddy, youse look as though she wore ya out!” Sean and Paddy’s other mates pick up the spirit of the moment, chiding Paddy in good fun. Paddy is uncharacteristically oblivious to the [...]

The Fanny Creators

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, with smart wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit. Second was a carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole. Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red [...]

Stammerers Action Group

A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her Stammerers Action group. She had tried every technique in the book without the slightest success. Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said “If any of you can tell me the name of the town where you were born, without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate [...]

Irony

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. “How’d you die?” the first man asks the second. “I froze to death,” says the second. “That’s awful,” says the first man. “How does it feel to freeze to death?” “It’s very uncomfortable at first”, says the second man. “You get the shakes, and [...]

Good News…

A secretary walked into her boss’s office and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.” “Why do you always have to give me bad news?” he complained. “Tell me some good news for once.” “All right, here’s some good news,” said the secretary. “You’re not sterile.”

Young Bride

At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the [...]

Newcastle Taxi Fare

One rainy spring night in the Toon, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a [...]

Italian Confession

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: ‘Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from [...]

Smart Teacher

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!” A smart-ass guy in the back [...]