What’s the difference between Cinderella and the England football team? Cinderella wanted to get to the ball…. Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still alive. He said that the England Team performance on Saturday was completely s**t. British intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the message [...]
An English couple took on a lovely 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asks if she could have a bath. The woman of the house tells her they don’t have a bath as such but she could use a portable tin tub in front of the lounge fire….. “Monday’s the best night, when my husband [...]
A man visits a brothel one night looking for a good time and the madam asks him what he would like. He says ” I want total humiliation.” The madam tells him “that will be £42.50″. “What do I get for £42.50?” “An England shirt” she replies. ———— Oxo have bought out a new world [...]
A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just couldn’t seem to get enough lovin’.. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love. The problem was their nooner: it took [...]
Teacher to class: “What does your dad do at weekends?” Little Johnny says “He’s a dancer in a gay bar and sometimes if the moneys right he lets punters bang his arse or he gives them a blow job.” The teacher takes Johnny outside: “Is that true?” “No miss, its bollocks. He plays football for [...]
A scouser is on holiday in Arizona USA. He’s staying in a remote frontier type town and walks into a bar. He orders his drink and sits down at the bar when he notices a native American Indian, dressed in full regalia, feathered head dress, tomahawk, spear, the lot, sitting in the corner under a [...]
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway. ‘Oh my God – Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband’s home early! If he [...]
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put [...]
A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West. The cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great shot… [...]
Two cowboys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions. The first cowboy says his favourite position is the “rodeo”. The other cowboy asks what the position is, and how to do it? The first cowboy says, “You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy [...]