The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?” A young [...]
It’s 2012 and it’s the Olympics in London. A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven’t got tickets. The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate. “McTavish, Scotland” he says, “Discus” and in he walks. The Englishman picks up a [...]
In My Hand I Hold A Ball, White And Dimpled, And Rather Small. Oh How Bland It Does Appear, This Harmless Looking Little Sphere. By Its Size I Could Not Guess, Of The Awesome Strength It Does Possess. But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell, I’ve Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell. My Life Has [...]
Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. For their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to [...]
A guy is standing over his tee shot, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. His partner says, “What’s taking so long?” The first guy says, “My wife is on the clubhouse porch, so I want to make a perfect shot.” His partner looks over to the clubhouse a [...]
A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, “What happened to You?” “Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls [...]
Two friends are fishing near a bridge. Suddenly a Hearse and two Funeral Cars go over the bridge so one of the men stands up, takes off his cap and bows his head. When the cars have gone he puts his cap back on, sits back down and carries on fishing. His mate turns to [...]
A guy was arrested for groping a hotel receptionist. In court, his defence was: “When I arrived there, I drove through a gate marked ENTER, walked through a door saying PUSH, came to a desk with a bell that said PRESS and met a woman wearing a badge that said PAT.” ———— Iron man. What [...]
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there’s nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Ron. Let [...]
Boudreaux was on the bayou for his weekly fishing trip. He began his day with an 8-pound bass on the first cast and a 7-pounder on the second. On the third cast he caught his first ever bass over 11 pounds when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying Boudreaux that his wife, [...]