One day, Pete complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.” His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your [...]
In the pub quiz recently, one of the questions was to name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Nigerians and Zimbabweans is not the correct answer. ———— I’ve heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children’s iPod after realizing that “iTouch Kids” is not a good product name. ———— [...]
Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband Bruce. ‘Bruce, Bruce’ she yelled. Bruce came running in. ‘Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to [...]
March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn’t? I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. My daughter’s birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch. September came [...]
A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo, Japan. Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day’s meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. ‘I’m afraid not, sir,’ the clerk told him apologetically, ‘but down the hall from your room is [...]
A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. When the equipment arrived, his wife was out of town, so he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his manhood into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic. Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure [...]
Wind turbines. I’m a big fan. ———— The missus just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the roof. ———— A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll. The guy behind the counter says, “Male or female?” The customer says, “Female” The counter guy asks, “Black [...]
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired… Operator: “Ridge Hall, computer assistance; May I help you?” Caller: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.” Operator: “What sort of trouble??” Caller: “Well, I [...]
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and [...]
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